It Be Like That Sometimes
If you’ve known me for more than, like, 5 entire minutes, you quickly learn that there’s something to describe my life: absolute, unadulterated chaos. Thinking back, it’s always been this way for me. Peaceful moments were few and far between, sometimes for reasons beyond my control and other times of purely my own fault. To cope with all the chaos, I learned to manage what I can control. I have a very competitive nature and I thrive under pressure. I look at chaotic events like a puzzle or a challenge. Every time something happens in my life, my sarcastic internal voice says, “Oh, yeah right. This is going to be what gets to us?! Hell no, it isn’t.” Don’t get me wrong— I’ve failed at things many more times than I’ve succeeded. Failure felt like the theme of this week.
I’m just returning to the shop after being knocked out completely by Covid for the past 2 weeks. (Yes, it took over two years, but it finally got me too.) It felt like everything I touched just came out wrong. I tried a new coaster design and it was awful. I was carrying a plant propagation to my potting station and dropped it, knocking the beautiful new roots that I just took 8 weeks to grow clean off the plant. I accidentally cut my hand and sanded down the pad of my pinky finger. Work was rough and exhausting, coupled with back to school prep after hours with the kids. I even had to write this post twice because it randomly closed on me without saving. The biggest failure of the week: I tried to put an epoxy finish on a table I just spent weeks building for our dining room. It dried completely unlevel. It’s the middle of the Texas summer and the heat was too intense in the garage for it to set properly. Guess what else comes with the Texas heat?! The Texas sized flies! Oh, and guess what became the world’s largest sticky trap?! Yep, my extra shiny, freshly poured epoxy table top. Every. Single. Fly. in the whole state was stuck to it. I shed at least two real tears when I saw it… at least two. There were SO MANY other failures this week too. I had planned for my sister to come help me get my house put back together after being sick, but after the week I had, I popped open a bottle of wine the second she pulled into the driveway and did exact zero things left on my to-do list. Yes, that was at 11am. Don’t care, go judge someone else.
Instead of working, we spent the day laughing, resting, and recharging our souls. That small break was all I needed to flip my mindset. New design that sucked? I got unique pieces to make something else out of. Broke the roots off that baby prop? I get to watch the magic of Mother Nature happen right before my eyes again. Cuts and scratches? They heal. And besides, scars are the fun way to remember hard work. Work is always rough but at least I have a job that supports my family, still have time to chase my dreams on the side, and it helped us build a home. Inside that home is a happy, healthy family waiting with arms wide open for hugs the second I step through the door. That huge failure with the table? At least I LEARNED from the mistake. I now know what to do to get the perfect finish and at least it didn’t happen on a table for a customer. (*Adds bug netting to amazon cart immediately*) At least I was only forced to figure it out for myself and not have to deal with the devastation on top of the time, energy, and money to fix the issue AND have to deliver the bad news of a delivery delay.
Moral of the story: it really do be like that sometimes. But we can’t live in our failures lest we too become a failure ourselves. Taking time to reset is truly one of the hardest, yet necessary, things for me to remember to do. Juggling the daily chaos of work, home life, running a business, and trying to just… survive… would not be possible without time to relax (even if for only a day, because I was definitely sanding that table down the very next day lol) While I had hoped this post would be of a beautiful new table for my family to gather around, I am instead posting it with exhausted muscles, invaluable knowledge, cherished memories, and a happy heart. I’ll save the “perfect” post for next week and take to heart the gentle reminder that a diamond is just a chunk of coal that handled stress extremely well.
Much Love,
Haley
